Is sexual healing possible? Healing is possible--emotional healing and sexual healing. I always tell survivors, “You're here. You survived. That means you're more powerful than what happened to you.” Victimization is a terrible thing. Surviving it is very hard. But I try to impress upon survivors, “Now that you're an adult, you have the capacity to build the life, and the sex life, you choose.” In my experience, when survivors use a body-centered approach, the success rate is very high. Those who engage in only intellectual talk therapies tend to have a harder time because their bodies continue to respond in the same ways they did during the abuse. But healing is definitely possible. Survivors can have happy, fulfilling lives, and GREAT sex lives.   2. What is a trigger? Anything from sexual positions or acts, to smells, or something a lover says can act as a trigger. When one is triggered, the past rushes into the present and the person can't tell the difference between the two. For instance, they won't know the difference between their lover and their perpetrator. 3. What’s the connection between desire and shame? The women I interviewed for my book, The Survivor’s Guide to Sex, whether they were into vanilla sex, S/M, queer or straight sex, they agreed that they felt like something was fundamentally wrong or bad about them sexually. Also, if the sex they like as adults is similar to the type of sex during the abuse, they worried there was a connection. They were scared and ashamed. 4. How can partners and lovers help? Partners and lovers are often the first to know or notice that the person they love is deeply struggling with something. They may notice the symptoms of sexual abuse or struggle with how these symptoms are impacting their relationship. Because sexual abuse deeply impacts a survivor’s trust, intimacy, and sexuality, often partners are the folks who live most closely with the results of child sexual abuse or adult rape. Survi...