Enroll Today

Preparing for Warm Sex with a Woman

Preparing for Warm Sex with a Woman

Preparing for Warm Sex with a Woman

Warm Sex

“To preserve opportunities for lusty, passionate sex, most successful long-term couples develop the ability to enjoy 'warm sex.' Rather than emphasizing focused intensity, warm sex revolves around calmer experiences of sensuality, affection, pleasure and playful fun. Although warm sex usually includes genital stimulation, its goals are neither high arousal nor orgasm.

“Especially during periods when desire is relatively low, warm sex allows couples to maintain a physical bond and helps them to continue perceiving each other in a sexual light. Some people have a great difficulty learning to enjoy warm sex, while others gravitate to it naturally. In addition to its other rewards, warm sex maintains an erotic playground. The passion of new love is typically an automatic catalyst for sex. As the urgency calms, however, seasoned lovers make time for sex.”

Jack Morin, Ph.D. from The Erotic Mind, pp 281-282.

Getting Started

Before you begin the practice, you will need a massage table, oil, sheets and towels. Quality massage tables are very inexpensive at Amazon and Costco – under $250. Purchasing a massage table is a commitment to your practice.

Mapping Pleasure

Mapping is a process where you caress your partner in a certain way and she gives you feedback on the sensations (or lack thereof). Your genital massage practice might start with several sessions of mapping and playing with your partner’s genitals. As you caress, she focuses her attention on the sensations in her genitals. Through this process, you can learn what she likes and what she doesn’t. Ask her, “How much pressure? Should I slow this touch down? Do you want me to keep doing this stroke for a while?”

You may wish to give names to your partner’s favorite ways to be touched so she can ask for those touches by name.

The video in this class, introduces you to 30 creative ways to touch the female genitals. It is easy to learn all these strokes. The real difficulty is for your partner to learn to receive what is possible as she is massaged.

Active Receiving

The female receiver needs to be actively engaged in the massage process. She might ask herself some of the following questions: “Can I allow myself to feel pleasure? Can my ego tolerate prolonged, full body orgasm? Can I allow my heart to open? Can I stop the chatter inside my mind? Can I let go of blocks and chronic constrictions? Can I stay totally present during the massage, not going off into fantasies or distraction?”

We recommend watching the whole 30 minute video with your partner. As you watch the erotic massage strokes, try to feel in your body the sensations that the women receiving are feeling. Now try these strokes on your partner. Have the video remote control or space bar on your computer available to stop the video so you and your partner can spend time practicing each stroke. Be sure to put the remote in a Ziploc bag and cover your keypad to avoid mixing technology with oil. Speak the name of each stroke aloud as you do it on your partner. Ask her for verbal feedback. More pressure? Slower? More oil? Encourage your partner to breathe consciously with you. Finish the massage by having your partner do the Big Draw.

Conscious Breathing

Breathing together is a powerful way to begin your erotic massage practice. Play with different rhythms. Experiment with shallow breathing and then breathe deeply into your belly. A recommended pattern is two shallow breaths, then one deep and repeat. In the breathing exercises in this course, all the effort is on the inhale. Let go and relax on the exhale. No matter how fast you are breathing, you will not hyperventilate if you relax on the exhale. The masseur should guide his partner’s breathing with his own breath. Conscious breathing helps keep the musculature of the body relaxed, even during high erotic states. The breathing also keeps one in the present moment so it is difficult to go off into erotic fantasy. As the massage progresses and the erotic charge builds in the pelvis, the breath helps circulate the erotic energy throughout the body. If the receiver breathes throughout the massage, she can experience a breath orgasm in her body similar to an erotic orgasm. When a breath orgasm and an erotic orgasm happen simultaneously in the body, expanded levels of consciousness are possible.

The Massage

After you have connected with your partner through conscious breathing, give her a long, nurturing, warm oil massage of the back, legs and arms. Allow your awareness to be in your hands. Let her know by the quality of your touch that there is nowhere else you would rather be, that there is no one else you would rather be with.

“With this massage, you can satisfy a woman to her core … every time!” Annie Sprinkle Ph.D.

In this training, you will learn thirty pleasurable massage strokes and erotic communication skills that you can use on your lover and/or on yourself. Learn from three women as they receive erotic touch.

This class includes full nudity and step-by-step explicit erotic touch instruction.

In this video class you can learn:

  • How to connect with heartful presence
  • 30 strokes for the vulva, including:
  • Clitoral massage
  • Labia massage
  • Massage inside the vagina
  • G-Spot massage
  • Using a vibrator
  • How to listen to and communicate with your lover.

Instructors Include: Annie Sprinkle Ph.D., Joseph Kramer Ph.D.

Class Format: 58 minutes of video to watch online or download to own.

This class is taken from the DVD “Fire in the Valley: Female Genital Massage”

The Body Electric School offers over fifty classes yearly in North America and Australia. Students learn sensual massage, mindful masturbation, erotic spirituality, tribal eroticism and more. Celebrate your body as a valuable and authentic guide. Enroll in the Body Electric School.

If you already have a user name and password for this site, please Log In before enrolling.

Video Teachings

Introduction to Vulva Massage: Part 1

Introduction to Vulva Massage: Part 1

2:15 min.

Joseph Kramer Ph.D. and Annie Sprinkle Ph.D. speak about developing the “Fire in the Valley” genital massage.

You must enroll to view this clip
Introduction to Vulva Massage: Part 2

Introduction to Vulva Massage: Part 2

2:30 min.

Joseph Kramer, Ph.D. and Annie Sprinkle, Ph.D. speak about the joys of giving and receiving female genital massage.

You must enroll to view this clip
Introduction to Vulva Massage: Part 3

Introduction to Vulva Massage: Part 3

4:22 min.

Joseph Kramer, Ph.D. and Annie Sprinkle, Ph.D. introduce this class in female genital massage.

You must enroll to view this clip
Coming into the Body

Coming into the Body

4:15 min.

The Heart-Vulva Connection

Joe: When your partner is ready to begin the Fire in the Valley massage, rest one hand on her heart and the other hand on her vulva. Take several deep breaths together. Make sounds together on the exhale.

Over Eggs Easy

Joe: Rub your palms together until they are warm, then lay your palms over the ovary area.

Annie: The heat from your partner's hands awakens erotic energy. This fire will ignite even if you've had your overies removed.

Knocking on Heaven's Door

Joe: Probe deeply just above her pubic bone. For a woman in her bleeding time, you may wish to use less pressure.

Tug on Pubic Hair

Annie: Notice how these playful tugs help focus your attention on your body. What a rare treat. Having someone make love to your hair follicles. The Fire in the Valley massage is safe sex at it's best. We do recommend nitrile or vinyl gloves if the masseur has any cuts or sores on her or his hands. Or if the receiver has any breaks in the skin of her vulva. Or when there's menstrual blood. Some women request that their masseurs wear gloves because they like the smoothness on their skin, and they look so sexy!

You must enroll to view this clip
Pussy Pleasure

Pussy Pleasure

3:00 min.

Pussy Petting

Joe: In many ancient cultures, anointing with oil was a special ritual of honoring. With every caress of your partner's vulva, let her know that she is special to you. Annie: Be aware that some women can have allergic reactions to some types of oils on or inside their vaginas. Fortunately there are many alternative lubricants available on the market.

Labia Shiatsu

Joe: With your thumbs , vibrate the acupressure points along both sides of the outer labia. Annie: If some touch feels extra good, make sounds so your partner will give that spot more attention.

You must enroll to view this clip
Squeezes

Squeezes

3:50 min.

The Squeeze Tease
Joe: This squeezing helps increase blood flow into the lips of the vulva. Be sure to incorporate massaging other parts of your partner's body whenever possible.

You must enroll to view this clip
Labia Love

Labia Love

3:25 min.

Outer Labia Massage Joe: Pinch and rub the labia between your thumb and your fingertips. Tugging also feels good. Annie: Labia sizes vary enormously. Some women have large full outer labia with virtually no inner labia at all. Or visa versa.

Inner Labia Massage

Tour de France

Joe: Circle your forefinger around between her inner and outer labia from the perineum to above the clitoris. Annie: Obviously it's best to do this massge with short, filed fingernails. If you have long nails, she might want you not to take the Tour de France.

You must enroll to view this clip
Womb Drumming

Womb Drumming

3:15 min.

Triple Digit Pussy Pet

Annie: Remember in massage, slow is often better than fast.

Womb Drumming

Annie: Be sure to give feedback to your masseur. She that asks for what she wants is more likely to get it.

You must enroll to view this clip
Beginning Clitoral Touch

Beginning Clitoral Touch

2:15 min.

A Gentle Touch and Tickle

Annie: This can be done with a super feather-light touch. Tease that clitorus til it's hungry for more, and don't give in to feeding it even if she begs. Annie: Be sure to breathe deeply. Remember, the more you breathe, the more you feel.

Doorbell

Joe: This stroke feels extra good when you totally lift your thumb from her doorbell after every ring.

You must enroll to view this clip
Rock Around the Clit Clock

Rock Around the Clit Clock

3:45 min.

Pinch and Pull

Annie: This is one of my personal favorites. It gets down into the roots of the clitoris.

Rock Around the Clit Clock

Joe: Imagine a clock face around the clitoris. Massage every couple of hours with your fingertip. Annie: Notice that different hours have slightly different sensations. Many women like 2 o’clock the best.

As She likes It

Annie: Every woman has ways she desires her clitoris to be stimulated. Now take some time to let her tell you or show you what she'd like and give it to her.

You must enroll to view this clip
Entering

Entering

4:15 min.

Temple Gate Tease

Joe: Even if you've massaged her a thousand times, it is wonderfully respectful to ask her permission to enter her. Annie: Be sure to use plenty of lubricant. And place your fingers at the opening of her vagina, and tease her until she draws you up inside her.

Slow Poke

Annie: Be sure to plenty of oil or iubricant. Everything should be moist and slippery. Annie: Let go of all expectations. Try not to be too critical. If you find yourself thinking too much, try to focus your attention on your breathing or on the hands of your masseur.

You must enroll to view this clip
Pleasure Inside the Vagina

Pleasure Inside the Vagina

4:15 min.

The Four Directions

Joe: With this stroke you massage four directions within the vagina. You can use the sides of your fingers or your fingertips. Betsy stretches Emilie's vaginal opening in four directions. David does the four directions with his fingertips, massaging the inner walls of Rachael's pussy.

Crescent Moon

Joe: Insert your thumb into the vagina. Then curl your palm around onto the clit, your fingertips are on top of pubic bone. Alternate stimulation between the three areas using your thumb, then your palm, and then your fingertips. Annie: This stroke makes me feel like I am being held.

You must enroll to view this clip
G-Spot Stimulation

G-Spot Stimulation

6:45 min.

Urethral Sponge Massage

Joe: Massage with your fingertips the whole area just inside the vagina towards your partner's belly. Annie: Notice that the urethral sponge area feels bumpy and textured compared to the rest of the vagina. It's not hard to find.

The G-Spot Doorbell

Annie: Press on the urethral sponge until you find the most electric spot. Communicate with your partner to find the exact location. This is the G-Spot. Some women experience that electric feeling on their entire urethral sponge. But for many it's about the size of a fingertip.

Circles on the G-Spot

Joe: With two fingertips apply steady pressure. Then make circular motions in both directions.

Add Clitoral Stimulation

Alternate Between G-spot and Clitoris

Joe: Massage the G-Spot for about ten seconds and then the clitoris for ten seconds. Alternate for a few minutes.

You must enroll to view this clip
Twist and Shout

Twist and Shout

3:45 min.

Twist and Shout

Joe: With one or more fingers, massage in and out while twisting at the wrist. You twist, she shouts.

The Lust Thrust

Annie: Some women like this slow and easy. Others need and want a good, hard, deep, and vigorous penetration. Annie: You can be in a state of total bliss and deep feelings can come up—sadness, anger, fears. But these feelings can co-exist with your erotic state. Go ahead. Feel free to express your feelings. This is sexual healing.

Be Here Now

Joe: Finish the Vaginal Massage by keeping your fingers still inside your partner. Stay connected through her warmth and the slight movements of her ecstatic flesh. Remove your fingers very slowly.

You must enroll to view this clip
Good Vibrators

Good Vibrators

3:15 min.

The Hitachi Magic Wand is the Rolls Royce of vibrators. Emilie discovers that she enjoys the vibrator best when cushioned by Betsy’s hand. During a breathing meditation, Letta gently traces mandalas on her vulva with her Hitachi. From years of conscious lovemaking, David knows how best to touch Rachel with her vibrator. Lubrication enhances sensation.

Annie: It is worth learning to use a vibrator. If you haven't liked vibrators in the past, don't give up. It adds another dimension to the massage. Some women don't wish direct stimulation. You can vibrate her through a soft cloth or through your hand as a cushion.

Heart -Genital Connection

Ring Around the Rosie

You must enroll to view this clip
And, in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.

And, in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.

5:00 min.

Rachel smiles as David applies direct vibrations to her clitoris. He then mutes the intensity with his hand. Betsy delights her partner with Hitachi journeys up the body to her heart and breasts. Letta ends her self-loving by ecstatically vibrating herself from the soles of her feet to the top of her head. Betsy and Emilie end with the psychedelic and life-changing Big Draw. After a period of deep rhythmic breathing, Emilie holds a deep inhale while clenching all the muscles of body—especially those of her pelvis. The Big Draw awakens astonishing levels of embodiment. This is a time for quiet savoring of the afterglow.

Clit Vibratons

Vibrate the Chakras

Annie: With the vibrator, massage all of her chakras. This helps settle the sensations throughout her body. A very peaceful and wonderful way to end the massage is to put the vibrator at the back of her neck.

The Big Draw

Annie: After breathing intensely for several minutes, take a full, deep breath. Hold it in for twenty to thirty seconds while clenching the muscles of your body--especially your butt muscles. It helps your clenching if you slightly lift your feet and your head. If you have any weakness in your lower back, skip the lifting. The Big Draw squeezes the orgasmic energy you have generated into the core of your being where it shoots up through your heart and out the top of your head--connecting your energy with THE ENERGY. The Tibetan Buddhists call this “The Ejection of Consciousness.”

You must enroll to view this clip
If you already have a user name and password for this site, please Log In before enrolling.